You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
