Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
