How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
