Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
