In the future we'll all be gay
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
