I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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