If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
