So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
