I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
