My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Randomize
