you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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