I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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