found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
