Cold hands, warm shart.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
