these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You've changed since you got that strap on
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
