we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
