My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
