He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
