we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
