Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
