And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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