that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
