Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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