I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
