Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
