Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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