I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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