I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
