absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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