Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
