The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Someone signed my nipple.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
