Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
