i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
