The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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