they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
