I forgot how hot balto sounded
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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