You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
