Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
