If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
