i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize