I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize