It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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