Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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