Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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