She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
