It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
