If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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