So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize