the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
What happened to fro yo and sex?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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