Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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