How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
