Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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