hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
