New low: just hacked my moms facebook
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
