I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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