it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
