We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
