she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
