The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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