at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
