They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
