doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
