K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
