Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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